Yesterday I came home from work (on a Friday) in a pissy mood. I was tired. I had realized that my weekend was stacking up with obligations and training. I started to look forward to Monday (sad I know). In two days, I had worked about 19-20 hours (at school and at home) and felt I had about 1 hour of ME time. I had planned on taking off from work early Friday to train. This was due to the fact that today (Saturday) I am taking 7-9 of my highschool students to go volunteer at the Special Olympics Regional Track Meet in Denver. However, I got sucked into other stuff at work and did not leave until 3.30. Ugh. CV had 5-5.5 hr of training on tap for me yesterday. Unfortunately, it did not all get done. I feel badly.
I came home from my MAF TEST and told Jeff that working gets in the way of things. Working screwed up my training today. It was not that I did not have the will-I feel my will force is pretty good. It is just that work sucks the life force out of me sometimes-not everyday-just some. And when it realize it, it hits me like a ton o'bricks. Working probably gets in the way of achieving my full potentials, but there is not a choice at this point and time. Therefore, Jeff and I both had to make it work. It is an art scheduling a day around workouts, sticking to boundaries, and saying NO to people, in order to do what you what to do. In my defense and to toot my own horn, I rarely miss my scheduled workouts (I only miss about 2 per month). One reason miss so little is because of the guilt that would following the decision not to do a workout. The second reason is knowing that the bigger plans (and goals) depend on my consistency. And thirdly, CV, and JK1 would know if I did not do my workouts...more importantly, I would know.
Back to yesterday. Up at 4.45 to swim. Was a hard swim yesterday, but at least I feel like I am not the slowest person anymore. I got home at 4pm and had to deal with dog stuff. I need a quick nap before my MAF test. So I lay down-no really passout-for 37 minutes. I need to be running my 5pm. Get up and leave by 5.05. MAF test takes me 90 min total, so I roll back in the door at 6.40. I still have a 1.5-2 hr bike to get done. It is just TIB. I make the choice not to do it. (I had actually already made the decision on the track while going around in circles). I just needed some time with Jeff. I needed to pick and choose today. By the time I got on my bike it would be 7 and done by 8.30. BUT, I needed visit Eric and Amber to buy some race wheels and I they expected me at 8. In a nut shell, I did the workouts that I thought were more important on that day, keeping my own wellness and sanity in mind. And I had to deal with my decision.
It is Saturday morning at 5.55am and I am still thinking about my decision. I hope it was the right one.
Rock on
JK
Saturday, May 10, 2008
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4 comments:
Jenni,
First off, I am utterly amazed at the schedule you keep, both with work and with training. No one else I know can manage this but you, truly. So...don't be so hard on yourself. Shit happens and as a result, our lives turn to shit momentarily. But only momentarily.
Secondly, don't always second guess your decisions. Once they're made, they're done. Don't fret over what I (as your coach) may think, or even what Jeff or anyone else may think. We're not in your shoes. Just realize that you made the decision based on how you felt at that moment, and that's how it should be. Let it go and move on.
I'm proud of the way you've been training as of late and the gains are evident because of it. After next weekend, you're no longer a duathlete but a triathlete!
JK2
I am noticing a lot of posts lately where folks are wondering if taking time off is the right thing to do, and around the entire work-life-training-being a person balance. Usually the people worrying about this stuff are the ones the MOST consistent with getting it done, hardly ever make excuses, and are pushing the envelope.
Keep pushing. You, of course, know that missing one workout out of hundreds is no more important than doing one workout of hundreds. It is the hundreds and thousands of workouts, yards, miles, hours that will make you. Missing one ain't going to break you. As long as it is one or two.
Keep livin' it.
GZ
jenni - i think you made the right choice! and i totally hear you on the work thing ;0)...you are truly so committed and giving up so much of your time for that, that it is hard to do the other things so you do have to pick and choose...AND you have to do so in a way that keeps you sane and feeling somewhat balanced. fwiw, yesterday and today are/were super shitty cold windy days to bike but tomorrow is going to be awesome. it will be your day!
I feel your pain Jenni...Nice to know there's other like me out there ;-)
Tracy
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